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Entire Packers team sees ‘Cats’ movie together, bond stronger than ever

There’s no denying that for a team to thrive in any sport, the players need to have chemistry. That’s easier said than done. Being a great athlete doesn’t check someone’s ego, in fact it usually inflates it. So you can’t simply smash talented people together and expect them to be be great overnight. For one team, that’s no longer an issue.

The team was well behaved for this photo so they would be able to watch Toy Story 4 in the screening room.

That team is the Green Bay Packers, who have recently seemed to lack a natural flow and consistent rythem on the football field. According to the players, and from what I saw this week at practice, they’ve never clicked better. What is the secret you ask? It appears to be quite simple.

“We went and saw the movie Cats together. It was kinda random but we wanted to see something none of us had seen yet. And not a single one of us players, coaches, or anyone in the organization in general had seen it,” said Jamaal Williams, running back for Green Bay.

Linebacker Preston Smith, who apparently came up with the idea to see the movie, took it a step further.

“I didn’t know a single soul alive who had seen this thing. I saw it on Google searching for movies, so I looked into it. My family hadn’t seen it. Nobody I grew up with had seen it. Nobody I went to college with had seen it. It got me wondering, how the f*ck is this thing making money? How does it even exist if nobody has seen it? So that’s when I knew we had to be the first ones.”

For the record, I also don’t know anyone who has seen the film, except for this professional football team. Fascinated as to what the experience was like, I looked to the unquestioned leader of the team, future Hall of Fame quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

“From now on, every night before a game we’re going to watch Cats. It had me so amped up. Those cats really did a great job and it’s inspiring,” said Rodgers, seemingly unaware the actors were simply humans playing cats.

Aaron pretending he’s as muscular as The Rock after seeing Fast and Furious 27.

It’s one thing for a leader to want to bring a new tradition to the fold, but would his fellow players be on board? I turned to one of Aaron’s oldest friends on the team, kicker Mason Crosby.

“Of course I love Aaron’s idea! This movie is very easy to watch. Plus my spirit animal, James Corden, is in it.”

Za’Darius Smith, another linebacker for the Pack, gave a unique reason as to why the movie worked for him.

“It had no plot whatsoever. So it made sense when they sang, because what the hell else were they going to do for two hours?” Za’Darius said.

Still, some on the team loved the movie more than others.

“Would I go so far as to say Cats is the greatest film ever made? Yes I would. Tell me where in The Dark Knight I can see Jennifer Hudson’s snot pouring out of her nose in every other scene? You can’t, because nobody acts as hard as she does. You can’t out act Hudson, because she can always crank it up and she always has more snot ready to go,” said wide receiver Davante Adams.

Adams holding up the number one, reenacting his favorite part of Avengers: Endgame, when Doctor Strange tells Iron Man only his sacrifice can save the universe

As I tried to talk football with the team, they kept pivoting their attention to the movie they so adored. I couldn’t get them to touch base with me on their opponent, their approach to the game, or to anything else for that matter. When I asked fellow wide receiver Marquez Valdes-Scantling about how he expected to stay open on the field, he instead reminded the team how hard it was to get coach Matt LaFleur to come see Cats with them. So I said screw it, and asked LaFleur to elaborate.

“Yeah, they dragged me with. I was skeptical because usually musicals enrage me. Like, I run out of the theater and punch a brick wall type of rage. Ever since I saw Singing in the Rain I just lose my sh*t when watching people sing in movies. It’s bullshit, you know? I’ve been in many fights over musicals, and I’m not good in a fight so they put me in a bad position for my self-esteem. But Cats is brilliant. I’m excited to see it again,” admitted LaFleur.

Thinking I had nothing else to possibly gain from talking to the team, I took solace in the fact that they seemed to be on the same page. Their time on the field this week spoke volumes more than their words ever could; especially since all they can talk about anymore is this damn movie.

I had done my job and the Packers looked ready to do theirs on Sunday, what more could I ask for? Yet, as I turned to head out, star running back Aaron Jones ran up to me.

It was exciting because I had yet to speak with this man, who was debatably their best offensive player this season. Surely he would say something insightful about the upcoming game.

“I know we’ve talked a lot about Cats this week, and that must be a little frustrating, but one thing can’t keep going unsaid. Judi Dench is one baaaaad lady and she might as well be given the Oscar now as far as I’m concerned,” said Jones.

Okay, so it wasn’t relevant to football, but at least he spoke to me, right?

Jones wasn’t done, however. “Don’t let anyone tell you Taylor Swift can’t act! She was amazing in this motion picture and in my opinion she’s the next Julia Roberts. T-swizzle is the real deal,” Jones said giddily.

Before I could turn back around Jones had his headphones on and was jogging back to his locker. He’s lucky, because I was about to yell at him about how much I don’t care about Cats.

If I was ever going to see that stupid movie before this week, I surely won’t know. Those bastards that play for the Green Bay Packers have ruined it for me. Here’s hoping these jackasses at least win on Sunday.

Editor’s note: the author’s opinion on the Green Bay Packers and their undying love for the motion picture “Cats” is not reflective of the entire staff at WSYS.

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