Well, it’s finally happened. President Donald J. Trump has officially shattered his own record for tweets in a single day! He hit 21,799 tweets yesterday ALONE. His previous daily record was a measly 17,489 tweets, which he achieved last Christmas by tweeting “Merry Christmas” frontwards and backwards in every known language, including Elvish from The Lord Of The Rings.

President Trump was able to pull off his latest incredible feat due to months of rigorous training and a strict diet of well-done steak and undercooked macaroni. This allowed him to wake up late in the evening the previous night to begin tweeting right at midnight. Sending tweets only a matter of seconds apart throughout the entire day, his dedication was incredible.

According to my inside sources, his bathroom breaks took 3 hours each due to his relentless tweeting. At one point, his staff allegedly had to drag him off the bathroom floor because both his legs were so asleep he couldn’t move.

Trump has long desired to tweet over the iconic 20,000 mark, something only one has done before, that being the “actor” John Cusack. Trump celebrated by tweeting the following:

“Let’s see that mustard eating loser Obama do that! These thumbs are like steel! Steels rods attached to my MASSIVE hands! Nobody tweets like me. I have the best tweets, no doubt. People are saying I am the Michael Jordan of Twitter!! Leftist tears for dinner tonight!!!!”

Indeed he shall drink the tears of his talentless enemies tonight. Although, after sending that tweet our dear President ate a hearty bowl of Neapolitan ice cream and has been asleep ever since. Never before has a human being deserved peaceful slumber more.

Unfortunately this isn’t the ALL TIME record for most tweets in a day. That distinction still belongs to “American” actor John Cusack (Hot Tub Time Machine, The Ice Harvest), who tweeted 47,654 times in 24 hours. He was binge watching Hugh Grant movies and noting how he can play a depressed yet charismatic character “better than he can.” Sure, John. Sure.

Despite falling just short of the all time record, I can’t wait to see what Trump does next! Personally I’d love to see him enter a hot dog eating competition and knock those folks down a few pegs.

Here’s a throwback to my personal favorite tweet by our President:

Published by Seth Dayrich

Founder of WSYS and writer of two motion pictures (Catching Summer, Dan's Humongous Apartment) and a play (The Restaurant Tango). View all posts by Seth Dayrich