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Milwaukee Bucks Fight Ritual Leads To All-Out Brawl

The Milwaukee Bucks are having a great season, which some attribute to their crazy pregame ritual. Jonathon Richard, an avid Bucks fan, says “I think that the success of the team can be boiled down to one thing! Their pregame ritual is AMAZING! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Bold words from an even bolder man who, despite the fact that it was a brisk -1°F outside, decided to wear the smallest pair of shorts I had ever seen on a man.

If you’re wondering, the Milwaukee Bucks tend to have fun before their games start.
They can be seen in videos all across the inter-web participating in what seems to be a team-wide “brawl”. Nobody ever seems to get hurt, but you always have to wonder if it ever gets out of control. Well, wonder no more!

After a stunning turn of events, this week’s game had to be postponed for the very thing Jonathon believes is causing the Bucks’ success. Bucks player Thanasis Antetokounmpo said, “I got lost in a rage. I don’t have any recollection of what happened,” when I asked him about the incident.

When I inquired if this had anything to do with the fact that earlier in the week he had been spotted sleeping in his car at the stadium, Thanasis responded with a look of death. One that I knew to mean “If you ask me one more question, you’re next”. His brother Giannis was much more talkative. “They picked the wrong guy to mess with tonight, man.”

It started like any other day. Robin Lopez walked out into the tunnel with his target in
sight. This time, he was going to fight Giannis, the team’s superstar. He gave a little nod to his brother Brook, no doubt giving him a sign to start, and the fight ensued.

When I asked Brook about the nod, he said “I didn’t even see the nod! Are you sure he did?” which shouldn’t really surprise me because while I was talking to him, Brook was staring off into space like he had a concussion. After Robin laid some “blows” into Giannis, Brook came running up and
pretended to knee Giannis in the face. As they normally do, they started having some fun with it and let it go on for a while.

“It was just your normal day, we do this all the time”, said Robin when asked about the moments leading up to the fight. “But to everyone’s surprise Thanasis came sprinting down the hall and legitimately tackled Brook off of Giannis.”

What everybody assumed to be a regular pregame pretend fight turned into one of the biggest brother duo fights we’ve seen. Topher Grace, who had front row seats to the game, excitedly recited his perspective on the events.

“I saw the whole thing, man. Robin sees his brother get taken down, so he grabs Thanos [referring to Thanasis] by the jersey and throws him against the wall. Then Giannis comes running up and drop kicks both Robin and Brook with his freakishly long legs! The fight continues for what seems like forever, with both sides laying serious blows before it gets broken up by Bango the Buck, [the team’s mascot,] who’s making… buck noises? Both sides took a beating, man. I don’t even know who won, but if I had to pick one, I’m going with that Thanos kid [still referring to Thanasis].”

“The Greeks all the way, bro,” said teammate Khris Middleton, who didn’t even see the fight. Due to the injuries they all endured, the game had to be postponed, which made fans very upset.

“I can’t believe they would do this to us,” one fan said, while shot-gunning a beer. Other fans seemed to enjoy the fact that the game was postponed. “Honestly, I could care less if we even had a basketball team. I just come here for the tailgating!” said another fan who told us that he didn’t even know what basketball was.

Coach Mike Budenholzer didn’t seem too surprised by the fight. “I thought we were
done with this. I had to break them up 6 times during practice this week. It seemed to be out of their system.”

Referee Jackson Roberts, a first-time ref who was clearly avoiding watching the fight said, “I couldn’t care less, honestly. I get paid either way. I just want to get home and shred some noobs on Call of Duty.”

When I asked Roberts why he became a referee, he responded, “I don’t know, I guess I really like 2K, and it can’t be too hard to be a ref, right?”

When I asked Robin Lopez if he expected Thanasis to be fined or suspended, he said, “I just need some time, man. I’m going to go home like I do every day and have a few bottles of wine and scream at my cat.” I’m not really sure what his cat did, but that’s not my job, I am just here for basketball coverage.

I asked Coach Mike if this would affect the team chemistry, but he skirted by the question, “We need to focus on next week. In the meantime, y’all wanna see the water buffalo I adopted last week?”

If you’re wondering, it was just a normal buffalo. Still cute, though.

This article features contributions from WSYS Editor in Chief Seth Mecklenburg.

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